This episode is different. It's not me and Sara – it's me, Sam, Harry, and Danny. Best mates I've known for 10+ years who came out for work.
Before they flew home, I got them in a hotel room, miked up, and asked: what did you really think?
What followed was one of the most honest conversations I've had about Dubai – including some hard truths about my own relocation.
What They Expected Before Arriving
I asked each of them: what was your impression of Dubai before you landed?
Sam
"Expensive. Glitzy. Showy. Influencers everywhere. Knowing me, I was like – I'm not going to like Dubai."
Harry
"All you see on Instagram and TikTok is influencers with the Burj in the background. And I'm thinking – it's so hot outside, they're literally going outside just to take that photo and then going back inside."
Danny
"Same as the others. Showy, no substance, expensive. But that's the reputation. If that's the image people have of somewhere they've never been, you're probably going to think those things."
First 10 Minutes in Dubai
Danny nailed it:
"When you walk into the airport and you've got to get a train to get your suitcase – you see the SIZE of that airport. It's like you've never seen anything before. That sets it up for what Dubai is. Everything's monumentally sized."
The scale is the first thing that hits you. Everything's massive. But it's also spaced out – tall buildings but far apart. Difficult to walk even if the heat wasn't an issue.
The Heat Reality
They arrived thinking "it'll be hot but we'll manage."
Reality check:
"After 30 minutes walking, it's a lot. It's inhospitable. We're literally in the middle of a desert – the only reason we can exist here is because of the buildings."
They tried to walk back from dinner one night (about 9pm). Found three scooters but had no data to activate them. Had to find hotel WiFi just to escape.
Top tip from them: Get the tourist SIM at the airport. Don't be stingy on data.
Were Their Expectations Right?
Harry made an interesting point:
"Whatever you think Dubai is going to be like, you're probably going to be right. If you think you'll love the showy, nice things – you will. If you think it's not for you because it's extra – you're probably right too."
The negatives they assumed (too hot to walk, everything's a taxi ride) were confirmed. But so were positives – clean, tidy, safe, polite people.
The Hard Question: Would They Holiday Here?
I asked if they'd come back on their own dime (not a work trip).
Harry: "I don't think so. Not for me."
His reasoning: they like being outside, having a wander. You can't do that here in the heat. You're going from A/C to A/C, restaurant to restaurant. Everything's a destination, which means everything's a taxi.
There's never a "journey" that's part of the experience – you just go to venues.
The Conversation I Needed to Have
Then we got real. I asked them: what did you think when I said I was relocating?
Their Honest Answer
"Made sense. This is the type of place you and Sara would enjoy. You like nice things, you like to be around those types of things."
The conclusion from all three: "We could see it coming."
What About Me Leaving?
That's the harder question. I spend way more time with these three than my mum and brother. Work stuff, friend stuff, then family stuff. Leaving them behind felt really hard.
How I'm Really Feeling (10 Weeks In)
They asked how I've found the move. Here's what I said on mic:
The first 4-5 weeks were still holiday mode – kids on summer break, just being a dad, navigating work. Kept me busy.
It's only settled in the last 2-3 weeks. Kids started school, slowly getting into routine.
"I don't feel like I've actually left mates yet because I was busy for six weeks, then I was like – let's get you guys out here. After now, I'm like... I don't know when I'm going to see you next."
What Is "Home"?
This hit me driving back from the dentist. I was like – oh, this is home. And I had really mixed emotions.
Do I feel at home yet? Way more now the kids are in school. But not home.
I'm trying to work out what home even means. I'm in an apartment I rent. In the UK, I owned my home – that's what I'd been conditioned to think is success.
My Definition of Home
After thinking about it, I landed on: proximity to the people you care about, weighted by how much time you spend with them.
Most weight goes to my kids. I'm spending way more time with them than ever before – I scoot them to school every day. That makes it feel more like home.
But I'm not spending time with my best mates or family. So will this ever truly feel like home?
The Dubai Treadmill Warning
This came up over breakfast with Sara. I told the guys:
"It's so easy to get onto the Dubai brand treadmill and feel like a peasant all the time. Everywhere you look, there are people with 5, 10, 100, 1000 times more than you."
Harry jumped in:
"There was a woman getting on our flight – Louis Vuitton had thrown up on her from head to toe. And you look at that thinking... who is that for? Is it truly for them, or is it keeping up with the Joneses?"
The Comparison Game
It's not about brands for me. It's the lifestyle creep. There's an inherent status game here, and it's constant.
Everywhere you look: "If you grafted a little harder, you could live over HERE." Screens everywhere selling luxury. Nothing's marketed as value for money – it's all "pay for the luxury."
"Imagine going to Vegas, where everywhere is trying to extract money so you gamble – the best place in the world to extract money from gamblers. I truly believe Dubai is the best place in the world to just extract money from you if you don't protect yourself."
Even Self-Aware People Get Caught
I'd call myself pretty self-aware. Even I've caught myself thinking "but are we doing enough here?" and then having to go – whoa, that's a dangerous thought.
Danny's response:
"You're really self-aware, but you're also really good at BS-ing yourself. If you've been embedded in this culture long enough, I could easily see you falling into that trap."
Fair point. The most dangerous person is the one who can tell himself stories and believe them.
How the Kids Are Doing
I asked Reggie and Riley how they found the move. Both said they're loving it. Both mentioned the weather. Both said school and friends are great.
The thing that struck me: how much Reggie has come out of his shell. The guys noticed it too. He's just... him. His authentic self all the time.
Riley's more self-aware now (age thing – he's 10). Put himself out there for drama class, hated it, nearly in tears about having to do a monologue on stage. But he's going back. Proud of him for seeking discomfort.
When I asked if they'd ever want to go back to the UK: resounding no from both.
Does Dubai Have a Soul?
I suggested taking them to the spice markets and gold souk next time – the older, more authentic parts of Dubai.
Danny's response was brutal:
"So to get a feel for the place, you have to leave it? That's kind of the vibe."
My honest answer: I've never found a true "soul" here. I've found so much enjoyment in the people. I love the culture and how people operate. Never felt so safe with a family.
But the place? The soul?
"Dubai is a manufactured brand. You can't put soul into that. It's like the pinnacle of... if you could live in Apple, you would."
Top Tips from First-Timers
Before wrapping up, I asked for their practical advice:
Taxi Tips
- Don't get the black cars at the airport (RSL – private cabs, 3-4x more expensive)
- Get the yellow taxis with coloured roofs
- Pink roof = female driver (men shouldn't use these)
- Taxis are everywhere and cheap – embrace them
Data & Connectivity
- Get the tourist SIM at the airport – essential
- WiFi is "everywhere" but you need mobile data for scooters, ordering taxis outside, etc.
- Download offline maps for Dubai on Google Maps
- WhatsApp messages work, video calls don't (FaceTime cuts off after 5 seconds)
Where to Stay
- If you like wandering around: stay at JBR or Marina, not Business Bay
- Business Bay = hotels and offices, everything's a taxi away
- JBR/Marina = more walkable (when it's not peak heat)
Hidden Gem
- Check out Zoom Market (the supermarket)
- They spent all trip going to fancy restaurants, then discovered the corner shop was "the highlight of the holiday"
- You can eat well cheaply if you look for it
Their Final Verdict
| What They Expected | Reality |
|---|---|
| Expensive | Can be, but also found £18 meals |
| Showy/influencer-y | Yes, but you can avoid it |
| Too hot to walk | Confirmed – it's inhospitable |
| No substance | Hard to find soul, but people are great |
| Safe and clean | Absolutely confirmed |
Would they come back for a holiday? Probably not their thing. But they get why we moved here.
What I Took From This
Having mates here reminded me of something important: I need people who'll challenge me. Out here, the default voice is "why not?" when sometimes I need "but why?"
The Rugby Club is becoming that for me – salt of the earth expats who've been here 10 years and avoided the Dubai noise.
Finding those communities and people who've learned to turn down the "why not" voice? That's the goal.
Thinking About Moving?
- Take the neighbourhood quiz – Find the right area for your family
- 6 Months in Dubai: Reality Check – Our fuller review
- Relocation Package – Get hands-on help
Got questions about the reality of living here? Drop them in the comments. 🇦🇪